Day 10 - I'm out of F/SN Style Day Names

[lesgeois]

[Diana hadn't slept well - she'd like to blame it on Mordred and her snoring, but the truth is that she'd have been restless even on her own. For a lot of reasons.

The pain, of course, was chief among them - but there was also the fact that she'd taken a life. Not directly, but - 'Mordred, kill her.'

Not subdue her, not capture her, not even attack her. Diana had ordered Mordred, with her own voice, to take a life of a human being. A human being that had killed someone else, was threatening to kill her, but still a human being. What kind of healer did that make her? How did that soothe anyone's pain but her own? No, even her own pain wasn't being soothed. She'd been on the floor with that woman's severed head staring right at her, after all.

'Either way, you're a tool. You don't get anything. That's the moral.'

She wonders if Mordred even remembers Assassin's master saying that to her. In that moment, Diana had used Mordred like a sword, or a gun - a tool to murder another person with.]

Ugh.

[Of course, there were also much simpler reasons for why she couldn't sleep. Like the fact that, now that Caster's attempts at healing were fading, her shoulder ached like crazy. Caster had patched up the wounds themselves, but she'd done almost nothing for the internals. It at least meant they wouldn't get infected, but her shoulder's muscles would have to heal on their own. It felt like the world's worst sprain.

Of course, it also didn't help that she'd sent Mordred down to get breakfast. Nearly fifty minutes ago.
The real painful thought there wasn't even the wait, but the fact that it took her until now to remember she could communicate with Mordred through their link again.]

You're arguing with Caster, aren't you.

['If you'd prefer pancakes in the shape of a heart, I can teach you how to make those,' Caster says. Not that Diana can hear her.

So yes, Mordred is arguing with Caster.]

Comments

[bloodings]

Of course not! I don't care about that kind of thing!

[ In contrast, Diana might be able to hear Mordred — or at least some indistinct yelling from downstairs. She crosses her arms, sends her grumbling over their link instead. ]

I'm not arguing! She's pissing me off! [ So, arguing. ] Who cares what food looks like? It's all about the taste!

[ #1 romantic, right here. Waiting for an answer, she glares at Caster again. ]

Seriously, why would I bother doing that when it's just gonna get eaten? I bet Master would agree with me. [ It's like you don't know her at all. ]

[spellto]

Has anyone ever told you how easy you are to tease?

[Caster hardly cares what the food looks like either, after all. She's only trying to get under Saber's skin.]

She's trying to 'piss you off, you know.

[And even though Caster, obviously, can't hear her, she can see Saber reacting to nothing, see her glancing up slightly, as if making eye contact with her own head.

Sighing, Caster puffs on her pipe. Yes, she's smoking in the kitchen. Fortunately Saber's hardly aware enough to call her on that.]

Ah, is the missus awake? Send her my regards and well-wishes.

[bloodings]

Tch, what do you think? The first fool to do so would have lost his head.

[ And it's much harder to tease a tin can. Mordred might hate wearing her helmet, but it has some advantages. Unfortunately, she can't just behead Caster, so she has to just deal with her instead. Fancy that.

Grudgingly: ] Caster says hello. Don't worry about saying anything back. You don't have to be polite to her.

[ At least it's... something. She tapes her foot impatiently — she's been impatient the whole time, just easily distracted. And easily baited. ]

Pancakes should be fine. But no weird shapes, got it? We'll just make the biggest ones we can.

[spellto]

I understand you're worried about her, but she's still hurting. She may not have much of an appetite. We'll make a number of small ones, and she can eat as much as she likes.

And no bacon to go with it. Something easier to keep down. Some variety of egg, maybe.

[Caster's not exactly - moving to help. She's just sitting there, on the counter.]

If we don't have to be polite to her, why even bother telling me? Thank her again for her help yesterday.

[bloodings]

Why do I have to thank her?! [ ... Oh, she yelled that out loud. She looks flustered for a moment. ] Ugh. Master wants me to thank you for your help yesterday. Even though I'm the one who jumped in and rescued her...

[ It's hollow bragging. Mordred can't even sound convinced about her own prowess. Grumbling all the while, she goes hunting for eggs, and ends up dumping an entire dozen on the counter. ]

Right. Pancakes and eggs. Maybe some bread, too. [ She runs a hand over the eggs, completely that maybe she grabbed a few (just a few) too many. ] I'll scramble these. ... Are you going to help at all?

[spellto]

Only if you're willing to let me eat any. You have a difficult choice to make, Saber.

[Caster puffs on her pipe, again - then, slowly, puts it out, teleports it away. She glances over her shoulder at Saber, face suddenly serious.]

I didn't tell my Master your identity. Consider that a courtesy.

So, I do think I deserve some eggs.

[bloodings]

... Hmph. You can have one.

[ And she considers actually chucking an egg at Caster, just to be a smartass... but decides against it, in a rare show of maturity. That, and she has a question. ]

Your identity is no secret to mine. [ Of course. Diana was right there when Caster told them. ] So why not tell him? Heh, afraid he'd rethink our little alliance? [ She sounds snarky, but she's only really deriding herself, in the end. Her reputation precedes her. ]

[spellto]

I like you more than him.

[It's a simple answer, really.]

I've told you before that I have no wish for the Grail. If I were to win the War, I'd destroy it. But destroying it isn't my goal, really. It's just something I'd do if I had the opportunity.

My only goal in joining this war, in continuing this far, is to make people happy. That is why I was born. And despite all your bluster, you are a person, Saber.

[bloodings]

Ha! [ Mordred barks, sudden, loud. It's forced to the point of hurting her throat, making her voice scratchy. ] I'm not someone you should try to make happy. That's for me to accomplish alone.

[ With the help of the Grail, of course — but even that won't make her happy, just give her a chance she should have had from the start. A chance to be the rightful king. Her father needed no help, nothing but his own birthright: why should she be any different?

She grabs a bowl, takes her annoyance out on cracking the eggs. ]

Worry more about that foolish Master of mine. I have no problem with her wish, but it's the type to easily backfire. [ Magic in general can easily backfire. She trusts Diana, but she's seen the girl she was forced to become in her dreams — and the thought of that happening again makes her stomach tighten. ] She isn't nearly selfish enough for a mage, so she needs help. That's a better goal than caring about me.

[spellto]

Your Master seems to care more about making you happy than her wish, if you ask me.

[She watches the eggs crack - there'll probably be some shell in their breakfast, but Saber's out of her control. And there are more pressing matters to talk about.]

And I have no intention of solving your problems for you. I give the powerless power and then let them do with it what they will. And you might be strong, Saber, but you are restricted. By a lot of things. Including yourself.

[bloodings]

You're wrong, Caster. She's worked towards her goal for most of her life.

[ So there's no way Diana would care more about her than making it happen. No way she'd care about her as anything other than a tool to obtain the Grail. In the end, that's all a Servant is.

Predictably, her voice is agitated as she works, dumping the shells on the bench beside her. ]

I'm the only knight who isn't restricted. Don't you know what rebellion means? [ She doesn't listen to anyone, doesn't care about anyone. What other restrictions can there be? ] My father was bound by all sorts of things, but I'm the opposite. A blind fool could see that.

[spellto]

Rebellion is a form of restriction, isn't it? It places you in eternal opposition to whatever you're rebelling against. When you've gone that far, there can be no taking it back. The days when you were a loyal knight are gone forever.

Your own mind can be a powerful cage, Saber.

[She watches the eggs go, casually brushes the cracked shells into the garbage. See, she's helping.]

I prefer mine sunny side up, but I doubt you're taking suggestions.

[bloodings]

[ She shakes her head. ] If you don't like it, make your own.

[ At least she'll actually do a good job scrambling them, if only because it's a chance to take her aggression out on something. Grabbing the biggest spoon she can find, Mordred goes at it like she's trying to kill the eggs — which is probably necessary with so many in the bowl. ]

Besides, none of that stuff matters. Once I'm king, I can do things my own way. [ Said through gritted teeth, though whether that's from the exertion or the conversation is anyone's guess. ] Loyalty isn't anything worth counting on. I saw how ready they all were to betray my father.

[spellto]

Doing things your own way? With all due respect, I'm not sure you know what that even entails.

[All due respect - in other words, none.

She realizes she's annoying Saber, though - and not in the way where she enjoys it, but in the way where it annoys her, as well. She wishes this woman was easier to get through to. Maybe she's too used to preaching to those that worshiped her, worshiped her mother.]

... Do you want me to stop? That's a request I can grant.

[bloodings]

[ For a minute, she stops completely — then, after a long pause, shrugs and goes back to her work. ] Do what you want.

[ Which is an awfully obvious way of dodging the question. The questioning is annoying, but only because it's making her think about things she doesn't want to. Things she hasn't considered. Draw the sword from the stone, make her father acknowledge her... and then what?

There's nothing. She goes quiet again, until: ]

I'm going to be a good king. [ It sounds like she's forcing the words out, trying to convince herself more than Caster. Like the more she says then, the truer they'll be. ] How I go about that is my own business. But don't think I'll become some tyrant just because of who I am.

[spellto]

IF you ask me, the tyrant was - ['Your father.' A good Christian man. Of the Nine Worthies. A Christ-like figure in his own right.

Aradia hates him, of course. But she cuts herself off, knows Mordred really would hate her for saying that. And she can't blame her. How would she react if Mordred denounced her as the spawn of Satan? Called her Father the worst thing to ever exist, the root of all evil.]

... Well. Suffice to say, I have no reason to believe you'd be a cruel ruler. Incompetent, maybe, but not cruel. Of course, I don't think there's such a thing as a just king.

[bloodings]

[ Incompetent — Mordred sets the bowl down, flicks the egg left on her fork in Caster's direction. So, yeah, way to prove her point. ]

My father was a just king. [ It's obvious Caster made the right choice. Mordred's annoyance now is temporary, but insulting her father might as well be a death sentence. ] Start the pancakes, Caster. That's a better request for you to grant.

[ It's a big enough kitchen that they can both work at once. And Diana's waited long enough... they've wasted even more time arguing again. Hopefully her Master has just gone back to sleep in the meantime. ]

[spellto]

[Diana isn't asking after them - and the transfer of mana between the two of them is calmer than it was a few minutes ago. She probably has drifted back to sleep.]

Fine, fine. [She gets to work on the batter, at least, wonders if Diana might like blueberries or something in them then settles on just plain pancakes. Diana's still hurting, like she said before. She doubts she has much going on when it comes to taste.

Caster has experience with this kind of thing. Feeding escaped slaves, men who'd ran away from the army they'd been forced into, those fleeing bandits. Or foreign armies. She knows how to take care of someone who's hurting and exhausted.]

I don't mean that in a rude way. [Yeah, right.] Ruling, being ruled - those aren't inherent traits of humanity. The mind doesn't know how to handle it properly.

[bloodings]

Or most people are simply useless. Humans are no better than livestock.

[ She starts fiddling with the pan, then watches Caster for a bit. There's something weirdly domestic about the situation, despite everything — and she isn't quite sure how to feel about it. A peaceful life like this isn't something she can picture for herself. ]

Without a king, they fight over land and resources like wild animals. Even then, they'll betray their master in an instant, with no thought for the good of others. [ She shrugs again. ] There's no helping them either way.

[spellto]

Wrong.

[It's hard for Caster to not get mad. 'Humans are no better than livestock' - it makes her want to cry with frustration.]

A master is a thing a slave has. If you are calling a king a master, then you are calling his subjects slaves. And what monster thinks a slave's rebellion reflects poorly on the slave? There is nothing unjust in taking back control of yourself.

[She stirs the batter, glances over at a clock. Diana's going to be having a late breakfast, at this rate.]

And don't kings quarrel over land and resources? The only difference is the scale.

[bloodings]

The difference is the reason for it. Well, most people who call themselves kings are just like you said, though.

[ Nothing more than masters with slaves. Frowning, she starts tipping the eggs in. There's too much — of course — but at least nothing spills, just builds up against the sides. ]

A king who fights for greed, for their own dreams alone... of course people would rebel against that. I wouldn't fault them. But put a perfect ruler before them, and they respond the same way. [ She glares down at the pan, remembering what she'd heard said about her father. ] A selfish king might be hated, but a selfless king is frightening. Monstrous. He couldn't save everybody, so it was as if he saved nobody.

[spellto]

Let me ask you this, Saber.

What would that 'perfect ruler' think of me? One who denounces God. One who takes in prisoners, slaves, and former bandits.

I do no harm to the state or to others, my only wish to heal and to teach. Those people escaped whatever captivity they were in on their own. But if I were to do those things openly, preach those things openly -

I would be executed, wouldn't I? Is that 'perfect,' Saber?

[She spreads the batter out on the pan, watches it form into actual pancakes.]

And you're forgetting the most important thing. Even more important than freedom.

Not everyone wants to be saved. Being saved is a burden, a chain. A denial of your own power. How would you react if I told you I wanted to save you?

[bloodings]

... He would have taken your deeds into account. Don't jump to conclusions.

[ She's not lying, though she knows it wouldn't change the result. It would just be another situation like Lancelot, like Guinevere — where Arthur the human was overridden by Arthur the king. Pushed into the decision by others. By her.

Mordred snorts. The stupidity of her argument isn't lost on her, the fact it must make no sense to anyone but herself. ]

I'd deny you, of course. But those people begged for King Arthur to save them — from invaders, from the land itself. And then they drove a knife into his back. I was just the blade they chose to use. [ Even if she did it for herself, not for any of them. ]

[spellto]

Because those people had been conditioned. By Uther - that is, your grandfather - and the kings before him. They'd been told that it was only a king that could save them. They knew no other way to live.

[The pancakes are - actual pancakes, now, and so she sets them out onto the plate.]

Does your Master want syrup? Butter? I'd advise the syrup. Sweet foods can help.

[bloodings]

Huh? [ Right, the pancakes. Somehow she'd forgotten all about them, even while idly stirring the eggs. ] Uh, try the syrup. Whatever helps.

[ Plus she can blame Caster if Diana has a problem with it. She turns off the pan — see, she's learning — and starts taking the eggs out, letting them finish cooking on the plate. ]

I guess kingship isn't something we'll agree on. If you've got a problem, you can stop helping. [ Maturity comes, annnd maturity leaves. ] Maybe your words do have some worth, but you won't change my wish. I'm going to challenge the sword of selection and surpass my father.

[ It's obvious that the second part is more important to her. ]